Carl Greenberg

Senior Staff Attorney, Major Case Division: Appellate Section

CARL HAS TRIED TO STAY UNEMPLOYED ON THE THEORY THAT YOU CAN GET A WHOLE LOT MORE DONE IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO.

FOR EXAMPLE, HE PROVED FOR HIMSELF THAT THE EARTH IS ROUND: AFTER GRADUATING WITH THE OTHER Gs IN HIS CLASS AT EMORY, HE AND HIS WIFE HEADED WEST FOR A YEAR UNTIL THEY ENDED UP RIGHT WHERE THEY HAD STARTED - BUFORD HIGHWAY.

(MAYLASIA WAS NOT FAR FROM WHERE THEY WERE TOLD IT WOULD BE; INDIA WAS HUMID; NEPAL COLD; THE MIDDLE EAST SANDY; FRANCE HAD GREAT TUNA FISH SANDWICHES; ENGLAND HAD FEATHERS IN ITS WIMPY-BURGERS; SCANDINAVIA HAD OUTDOOR SHOWERS.)

HE CAN JUGGLE.

HE CAN FLY AN AIRPLANE.

HE HAS JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE.

HE HAS A BOY AND A GIRL WHO ARE BETTER THAN YOUR KIDS.

HE HAS HAD HIS MIRANDA RIGHTS READ TO HIM. SHH!

HE WORKED FOR SOME CRAPPY LABOR LAW FIRM, DRAFTING MINUTELY DETAILED INTERROGATORIES, AND VAGUE AND AMBIGUOUS RESPONSES TOMINUTELY DETAILED INTERROGATORIES

HE CLERKED FOR A SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE WHERE HE LEARNED A LITTLE ABOUT CRIMINAL ZONING MATTERS, AS BEST HE CAN RECALL.

THEN, AT THAT PLACE AND TIME WHEN ZONING LAW AND CRIMINAL LAW SLOWLY DIVERGED IN WESTERN THOUGHT (EARLY 1980’s), HE STUMBLED:

FULTON COUNTY PUBLIC DEFENDER’S OFFICE FOR FOUR YEARS.

DEKALB COUNTY PUBLIC DEFENDER’S OFFICE FOR FOUR YEARS.

FULTON COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S OFFICE FOR EIGHT YEARS. (DEPENDING ON WHO’S ASKED, HE EITHER SAW THE LIGHT, OR WENT OVER TO THE DARK SIDE. HE SAYS HE WAS SIMPLY PROSTITUTING HIMSELF.)

"SABBATICAL" FOR EIGHT MONTHS: HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING, BUT HE MOSTLY CHATTED WITH TELEMARKETERS.

SINCE FEBRUARY, 1998, HE HAS BEEN TOLERATED AT THE FULTON COUNTY CONFLICT DEFENDER, INC.

CARL HAS WRITTEN MANY MORE APPELLATE BRIEFS THAN ANYONE WHO HAS NOT WRITTEN ANY APPELLATE BRIEFS. NOW HE’S DOING IT AGAIN. HE HOPES HE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE OPINIONS BEING HANDED DOWN BY THE APPELLATE COURTS, WHICH HE FEELS ARE TOO OPINIONATED.

CARL REPRESENTED MR. HEAD IN THE HEAD CASE, 253 GA. 429 (1984). HE URGED THE GEORGIA SUPREME COURT TO SET UP A TWO-PART TRIAL FOR ANY CITIZEN WHO IS CHARGED BOTH WITH HAVING-A-GUN-EVEN-THOUGH-HE-KNOWS-PERFECTLY-WELL-THAT-HE’S-A-CONVICTED-FELON, AND WITH, SAY, ARMED ROBBERY.

THE COURT DECREED: "SO LET IT BE URGED, SO LET IT BE DONE." NOW THE JURY, WHILE DELIBERATING THE ARMED ROBBERY CHARGE, HAS NO IDEA THAT JUNIOR HAS A LIST OF CONVICTIONS LONG ENOUGH TO GIFT WRAP A COUCH. (HAVE YOU SEEN THEM WHEN THEY’VE ACQUITTED ON THE BIGGIE, AND THEN FIND OUT ABOUT THAT [W]RAP SHEET?! TALK ABOUT PISSED!)

ALTHOUGH HE HAD A HAND IN MOST OF THE MAJOR CASES WHICH CAME THROUGH THE DA’s OFFICE WHILE HE WAS THERE, ONE OF CARL’S FAVORITE SHOW & TELL ITEMS IS THE TRANSCRIPT OF A ROUTINE MOTION FOR NEW TRIAL HEARING IN WHICH THE DEFENSE GOES ON FOR PAGE AFTER PAGE ABOUT THE EGREGIOUS ERRORS WHICH OCCURRED AT TRIAL. ON THE LAST PAGE, THE TRANSCRIPT REFLECTS THAT MR. GREENBERG SAYS SOMETHING "UNINTELLIGIBLE." THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR THE JUDGE, WHO PROMPTLY DENIED THE MOTION.

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